Dairy of a Madman

I try to focus on the positive, because the negative sucks and it largely out of my control. Hey, Natalie Portman is single again! Arrested Development is gonna be made into a movie! Clay Aiken is gay?!! Say it ain’t so…

But reality is what it is, and right now it’s pretty ominous. So let’s poke fun at some things that make us angry, eh?

Instead of suspending a campaign, [David] Letterman said, a presidential candidate should go to Washington to deal with a crisis and let his running mate shoulder the burdens of politicking….

…McCain told the CBS show that he was immediately flying back to Washington, Letterman told his audience. Then Letterman showed a TV feed of McCain being made-up for an appearance on news anchor Katie Couric’s “CBS Evening News.”

McCain has lost his mind. And the trillions of votes he’ll receive in November (don’t kid yourself; even actions like these mean nothing in the hearts and minds of the braying sheep of America) tell me that maybe it’s time to move to a country where I have more in common with the populace. Further evidence?

McCain supporter Sen. Lindsey Graham tells CNN the McCain campaign is proposing to the Presidential Debate Commission and the Obama camp that if there’s no bailout deal by Friday, the first presidential debate should take the place of the VP debate, currently scheduled for next Thursday, October 2 in St. Louis.

In this scenario, the vice presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin would be rescheduled for a date yet to be determined, and take place in Oxford, Mississippi, currently slated to be the site of the first presidential faceoff this Friday.

Graham says the McCain camp is well aware of the position of the Obama campaign and the debate commission that the debate should go on as planned — but both he and another senior McCain adviser insist the Republican nominee will not go to the debate Friday if there’s no deal on the bailout.

I love the smell of panic in the morning. It smells like… victory.

No, sorry. Some moron is burning the microwave popcorn.

Does no one else get a little nervous that one of the Keating Five is insisting on helping broker a 700 billion dollar transaction between the government and financial institutions? Is it just me? It’s like sending his wife to help set the price on class 2 narcotic painkillers.

U.S. President George W. Bush, saying “our entire economy is in danger,” urged Congress to approve his administration’s $700 billion bailout proposal.

2008: The End of an Error.

Seriously, within the past month, I distinctly recall Bush saying that the economy was fine, that the foundations of our economy are strong, that there’s no reason to worry. I’m glad that the puppet masters have finally started filling his scripts with some measure of the real world that the rest of us live in, but in my mind, it’s way too little, too late.

And waitaminute — this bailout is going to pay the CEOs of these firms that have lost so much money with poor planning and ethically dubious business practices? FUCK YOU. I can’t possibly stress that enough, even with the blink tag.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUCCKKKK YOU.

You know the rest of the world, if we fuck up and do our jobs poorly and risk devastating the entire economy? We don’t get “golden parachutes” or “severance packages” or “the sympathy of politicians whose bathtubs we fill with hundred dollar bills so they can bathe in the green.” We get shitcanned and have a really hard time finding another job — and rightfully so, because we’re not very good at that job, obviously duh you fucking morons. And if we cook up schemes to make millions of dollars, and those schemes collapse like a house of cards in a hurricane, and lots of people lose money because of us, we go to jail, and rightfully so, because we’re criminals and deserve to spend at least a day or two surrounded by people so poor that their resentment is all the foreplay we need for the rape we are about to receive.

At this point, I’m so tired of the lack of accountability and the displays of entitlement that I see everywhere — from Wall Street all the way down to Skid Row — that I’m ready to see these people face the consequences of their actions, even knowing full well that the rest of the country will have to suffer with them. As a group, a society, a country, maybe it’s just that time — for all of us to accept (willing or not) that actions have reactions, and you can only delay them so long.

By the way, I’m not saying that the CEOs and other people involved the companies looking for a handout from the government are either crooks or incompetent. I — oh, wait. I totally said that.

… in what may be a colossal case of coincidence (as much as it may be evidence of business as usual in the wonderful world of Republican politics), pay real special attention to the end of the video:

(CNN hates me and makes broken video embedders, so go to http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/business/2008/09/24/am.lawrence.savings.safety.net.cnn and watch the damn video. Harumph. Damn kids. via Constant Siege)