Dairy of a Madman

A generic Urban Legend featuring the Exhibit(s):

A petrified bar patron frantically called police after a man dressed in ski goggles and leather pants turned up on his stage with a roaring guitar.

Fearing he was about to be taken apart limb by limb the desperate “victim” dashed to the phone to alert officers of the impending bloodbath. But police who raced to the address in southside Birmingham last night arrived to find the guitar-wielding offender drunk.

It later transpired that the menacing character waving the 3ft-long Seagull acoustic had in fact got the wrong address for a fancy dress party.

Police said he had been intent on making a dramatic entrance to the soiree and was dressed as hell-raising rap star Eminem.

Upon realising his mistake he skulked off into the night, guitar in tow.

A Lincolnshire Police spokesman said: “The poor alcoholic was clearly frightened out of his skin.

“The guy turned up at the door with the guitar running and must have looked terrifying.

“Luckily he had simply gone to the wrong door. It must have been rather embarrassing for him.”

Halloween comes a little early this year as the Exhibit(s) take the stage this Friday night, October 27th, for our annual Costume and Body Piercing Extravaganza! Join us at Bailey’s Pub from 10:30 until the wee hours of the morning as we celebrate the ancient Druidic rites of feasting on the flesh of our animal totems, virgin sacrifice, and body shots. Come in costume, and (maybe) win a (barely qualifies as) prize^**. We personally will be there attempting our most ambitious costumes yet:

Real musicians.

I know, I know; too horrifying to comtemplate for more than three seconds. It’ll be fun to see if we can succeed, and even more fun to drink the memories away.

^* Prize may include one or more of the following: broken guitar strings and/or drumsticks, fliers from old shows, the chance to buy the band a shot, or drunken requests to “show us your boobs.”