Dairy of a Madman

There are moments in life that remind me that the word “breathtaking” is horribly overused, that redefine “awe-inspiring.” The moments in time that you wish you could capture in a bottle, that make you pray that you never lose your memories, that maybe even make you believe, if only for a brief and shining moment that there is something bigger and better and more beautiful underlying the reality that we know. It can be anything, real or unreal, but it’s more than just a visual or a sound or a touch.

These moments transcend a singular sensation. Time stretches and collapses upon itself, warping inside out and turning you backwards in a temporal flux.

These aren’t everyday occurances. They can’t be, by their very nature; in fact, we should be so lucky as to have five or ten of them in a lifetime. Any more than that, and you’re either not experiencing the overwhelming nature that I’m talking about, or you’re living a more fortunate life than I can even imagine.

For me, to date, there are very four of these moments. I can spot them and isolate them by the fact that I lose my ability to verbalize what is in my head, that words escape me, that perhaps for those all-too-short minutes I have stepped outside of the reality that the language that I know is capable of describing.

The dream of the universe is one. The cloud blanket that I drove home underneath after watching Grand Canyon in 1994 is the second. The experience of seeing Steve Vai perform Lotus Feet live is the third.

And the fourth is watching a beautiful woman dance for me. Not just any dance, and certainly not just any woman. I can truly say that I have received a gift from the universe tonight, one that could never be asked for or intentionally given. I have witnessed magic, a serpentine and earthy moment of fluidity.

I could watch her dance every night, forever, and never see too much.

this is the sound of something so beautiful that it can’t be accurately described

Yeah, this sounds (on the surface) tawdry and overtly sexual, and it’s not. It also sounds new-agey, maybe, and fuck you. For a rare moment, I’ve lost the ability to formulate my thoughts, much less put them into words. Think what you want; I’ll be over here reliving a few memories.