Five years later, I’m awakened by news that gets its start in the Middle East, with Al Queda. Al-Zarqawi is dead, and people across America are celebrating.What? Really?

Look, I’m all for the man having been taken out of play. He’s responsible for hundreds if not thousands of deaths. Oh, wait; that would be our President. Um, let’s see… Well, he did it for religious reasons… Shit. Still there, hunh?

Bush-bashing aside, the man was a bad person and needed to be pulled from the game board. I’m all for the death penalty, too, if it is known without any shadow of doubt that the person being put to death is the killer (and that’s the person holding the degree in criminal psychology talking). I’m not standing on a soap box preaching that we should have captured him, or some alternative to blowing him up. Although I will note that Michael Berg, father of Nicholas Berg (who was beheaded in 2004 in Iraq, likely by Al-Zarqawi), noted in an interview with Soledad O’Brien, “Well, my reaction is I’m sorry whenever any human being dies. Zarqawi is a human being. He has a family who are reacting just as my family reacted when Nick was killed, and I feel bad for that.”

Good man, Michael Berg. You have to respect that sentiment.

But Berg makes another good point, one that is being casually drowned out by all the celebratory pomp and circumstance: Al-Zarqawi is now a martyr. One the one hand, this could be a turning point in the war; on the other, it could be a stage of reinforcing the status quo, perhaps even pulling some Muslims extremists into action. I certainly hope not, but I can’t say I’ll be surprised if it only gets worse from here.

Is there anyone out there willing to shut Ann Coulter up? Whatever means you want to use, fine by me.

I’ve decided that her outrageous commentary is an act, crafted to sell books and public speaking engagements. Hey, controversy sells — and for all the time that right-wing extremists have helped boost the profits of some of my favorite entertainment, well… Frances Farmer is having her revenge.

I don’t feel so bad for her; not even irritated, so much, as she’s either a brilliant saleswoman and performer or teetering on the edge of sad and pathetic delusion. It’s the people that buy her books, that allow her to command extraordinary fees for lectures, and worst, take her mixture of fact and fiction and cheap heat as fact.

The more attention that she gets, the worse it is. And yes, I know that I’m just as guilty as Hillary Clinton in pointing all this out, but damn — can’t we all just ignore her? I think that’s my new plan.

Either that, or blatant condescending pity. In fact, I have a request for the Al Frankens and Alan Colmes and anyone else that gets an interview with her: shower her with sadness and gentility. Treat her like the retarded cousin that she is. Humor her. But let your patronization run rampant.

But if you want to debark her and take her typing fingers away while you’re there, I can’t really say I’d argue with you too much.