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My fellow sides of beef:

  • Bitter Old Punk - Slinging the liquor to all who will tip, and even some who won't, because corporate policy demands it.
  • Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper - Southern Haha. Oh, like it matters. Look -- boobs!
  • Cadet Spiff's Deep Space Log - Richard, you ignorant slut. You know how I know you're a nerd?...
  • Clublife - I sometimes work as a bouncer. I'll bet this guy could kick my ass, too.
  • Defective Yeti - Seattle's not such a bad place after all. Maybe the rain makes you funny.
  • Devin Townsend - Go. Listen. Learn to love. Stop asking so many damned questions.
  • Dooce - The fairy godmother of the blog world.
  • Falling Sky - It's Jon, my favorite British person. There's real flavor here.
  • Jason Mulgrew - It never fails: I'm having a bipolar day, and someone bipolar makes me laugh. Fucker.
  • Monalicious - Boston will never seem cold to me as long as this woman's there.
  • Pretty Helmet - Elizabeth in the Ham
  • Something Positive - One of the best cartoons ever. Funny, mean, and touching, usually within a single word.
  • The Broken English - Highly recommended in the fight against chlamydia. Not for children over three foot eight, or lactating women.
  • The Sneeze - Home of 'Steve, Don't Eat It!' Enough said.
  • Wade on Birmingham - Someday, Wade will be under Birmingham. Or over it.
  • Wade un Birmingham - Non-Birmingham, presumably non-American Idol, non-boring, non-badly written
  • Waiting with Bated Breath - Not just for kids, Trix tastes great and is less filling.
  • Warren Ellis - Writer of stuff. Crotchety. Smokes a lot, so we like him.

TODAY'S DEEP THOUGHT:

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it tramp-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.


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616 - The Number of the Best

1 June 2006 | This is Idiocy, Blasphemy

See, it’s not next Tuesday you have to worry about. It’s today. Although, if we want to get picky and specific, neither one really works, since next Tuesday is 6-6-06. So it’s like the day of the Neighbor of the Beast, not the Number.

By the way, the 616 thing is real, and funny. So all these years, the Satanists have been wrong (not to mention that they’ve been throwing the goat to the ghosts of Roman emporers, not the evil powers of Hell), and thousands of album covers and patches exist to prove it. Thanks, Slayer!

All this is symbolic and appropos of today much in the same way that some of you view Friday the 13th (me, I’ve always thought 13 was kind of a lucky number, and good for hockey masks, too). I fell asleep for 12 hours last night — dropped off after dinner at around 8 PM, and woke at 11 PM long enough to move from the den floor to my bed, reawakening at around 8 AM this morning. And I still didn’t want to wake up, because it’s the first day of June — the beginning of meteorological summer, the start of hurricane season, and rent day to boot.

I’m convinced that today will bring news of the worst kind. Or perhaps the best. I’m still undecided. Either way, I can guarantee that there will be no 8 PM bedtime for me tonight. No, I’ll be up late, probably working a little or a lot, slinging some alcohol both at you and in your honor (dow nmy own throat, that is), earning my ducats for another weekend.

And it’s not even Friday, yet.


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