Dairy of a Madman

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “Hey, is there room in your head for one more?”

There’s no right or wrong way to get through life. I’m learning that much. As with so many things, it falls back to perspective. What do you want out of life? A calm, safe ride with few surprises and plenty of security? A roller coaster scare with ups and downs and plenty of adrenaline?

Pros and cons, highs and lows. Both roads (and all the innumerable paths in-between) have plenty of each. Boil it down to what you want at the end of every day.

Problems arise, though, when what you want from day to day shifts like mercury. It seems, in a universe with infinite possibilities, that there would be one road that would happily fit everyone’s goals. How to find that road, though?

Constant adjustment, adaptation. Fluid definitions of good and bad, right and wrong. Allowing what you want to change; keeping what you desire in sight and working constantly towards it without letting yourself feel bad for not having something.

“The universe unfolds as it will.” Which is not to say that we can’t have some effect on the outcome, the manner in which it unfolds. But to ascribe to ourselves more power than we have over that in our surroundings over which we are powerless is to ask for blame and guilt unfounded.

Where to draw the line between what we have in our hands, and what is outside of our reach? Who really knows the difference between the two?

There’s no longer time to be tired of this push, to question why some of us are handed one fate while others get what we wish we had. On some levels, there’s not really any more time to ponder the reasoning behind it all, as I spend so much time doing; except maybe that understanding the foundation of it all makes the end result easier to guide.

A hearty “le fucking sigh” resounds throughout.