The worst thing about having as many great and wonderful friends as I do? Having to spend the first half of my birthday sleeping off one hell of a hangover, as birthdays start at midnight.

The best thing about today? I can now, officially and with authority, say that I’m older than Jesus.

Of course, at heart, I’m still not legally allowed into bars.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

There are places that each of us are meant to be. We may never find those places; worse, we may never recognize them for what they are, for the unique and special connection that we could have with them.

In the meantime, we’ll stumble and wander from place to place, perhaps lost, perhaps only restless and dissatisifed.

The only other option is to settle for less than what we really desire, to be content with what we are given, with what floats our way. There’s a level of sloth in that way, though.

While there are no guarantees that we will ever find what we are looking for, or that we will recognize it when we do, or that what we seek will even be obtainable once we find it — while all of this is true, does that really rationalize giving up and making do?

I don’t get too comfortable here, because it’s not where I’m supposed to be. Not in the end, at least. And I’m not anxious to leave, because there’s no point in jumping from one place to another without taking a look first, feeling around and checking to see if it’s where I want to be going.

Outside of that dream destination, it’s all just different names for the same place.

It smells like a doctor’s waiting room in here, and it doesn’t help that the carpet is made to inspire vertigo.

Outside, it’s gray and drizzling and cold. Perfect November weather. Exactly what I’ve been waiting for (sans the drizzle, I should say — rainy days and Mondays always bring me down).

We (being the entire IT department of UAB, excepting a few server admins) just shifted all of our offices from across campus into a new building, and the new carpet and furniture and paint gives it that newly disinfected smell. And the pod set-up, while inspiring for a sense of community, makes me feel like I should be on the phone trying to close sales.

The community thing isn’t even a point for me, since my department numbers one plus a part-time intern…

Interesting as time passes to watch the way the world is changing around us. New theories about workers and productivity and morale spring up, and you have a generational shift of new trends in the workplace. Christmas decorations spring up earlier and earlier every year, and the coll season starts later and later; the time change is just icing on the cake of temporal displacement. Trick or treating seems to be more and more a thing of the past; when I was a kid, not so terribly long ago, you went house to house, every house in the neighborhood, and loaded up. These days, you see fewer and fewer kids in costumes outside of school, and fewer and fewer houses with welcoming porch lights or decorations.

These are the things that old people notice. The changes, today versus the good old days. And I’m not old, unless you ask my baby sister or the twenty-somethings in my crowd; my 34th birthday is coming up this Friday, but I still feel (and act, and apparently look) 25.

But I can feel myself seeking those familiar patterns in life, from habitual behaviors to seasonal shifts. And I’m aware of how quickly they are changing, disappearing, moving on to become the memories of my baby sister and my niece.

It startled me a few days ago to realize that, with only 15 years between us, how many pieces of technology separate myself and my youngest sibling. And not just things like video game systems, or width of internet pipes. She’s never known the world without remote control, the internet, cell phones, portable music players, video players, or microwave ovens. She wouldn’t know what UHF is without a hint or two.

These are all things we all take for granted, whether we have them or not (I know plenty of people who do without cable TV, computers in the home, and cell phones — but they’re aware that they could grab them at any time if the need or desire arose).

And of course, the growing gap between the haves and the have-nots, the ever-marching progress of the capitalist world. The insane greed that drives millionaires to swindle blue-collar workers out of the life savings, that sends countries to war and creates insanely intricate webs of deception and lies and blind faith.

This world has lost it’s focus, I often think. I’m no different, no better, except maybe in the sense that I’m aware of it.

It, and the cloyingly clean smell that I have to put up with 40 hours a week.

I guess it could be worse, though. I could be stuck making calls, trying to close sales, instead of just feeling like I should be.