Dairy of a Madman

Two commercials, back to back, making me wonder if some ad agency is stealing my humor:

Hardee’s, featuring a grown man suckling at the teat, proclaiming that it’s time to stop eating like a baby and start eating their Frisco Burger. Or something. I lost track after the grown head popped up from the woman’s chest.

And Playtex, where a woman uses a tampon to plug a hole in the rowboat. Now, I’m grown and twice-married, so I know what a tampon looks like, and how it works, and so forth, in FAR more detail than I should. But I don’t need to see it in action.

It could have been worse, I suppose. The boat could have been caught in a red tide…

Ad agencies of the world: HIRE ME. I’m the wave of the future, and I’m breaking on your shore.