Speaking of Language, Monsieur Romney
Republicans have gone into high dudgeon over Barack Obama’s suggestion at a town hall meeting in Georgia this week that Americans might profitably emulate the European dexterity with language (when it comes to foreign languages, Europeans tend to speak many, while Americans tend to know rien, nada, niente, nichts).
“You know, it’s embarrassing when Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. And then we go over to Europe and all we can say is ‘merci beaucoup!’” Mr. Obama said, to laughter from the crowd.
Now Obama — who does not speak French — included himself among the lamentably mono-lingual, even though he has been known to speak Spanish and Bahasa, the language of Indonesia. He emphasized that immigrants here must learn English. But his opponents were quick to jump. The Weekly Standard featured his comments in its “Obama Snobbery Watch” (“Is he embarrassed by immigrants to the United States who can’t speak English?” the magazine’s blogger asks) and former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani opined: “I mean, the reality is that this is a country that should speak English.”
“I do think that, frankly, Barack Obama looks towards Europe for a lot of his inspiration,” said former Gov. Mitt Romney told Fox’s Hannity & Colmes, adding: “I think John McCain is going to make sure that America stays America.”
But hold the nativism and pass the parlez-vous. Mr. Romney also let Mr. Hannity in on a secret: “I’m proud to say I can say a little bit more than Merci beaucoup.” And he understates it. As The Washington Post reported in 2005, Mr. Romney met a French-speaker in New Hampshire and promptly broke into French, adding that he lived in Paris “which he said was fore-mi-dahb.” (Translation: So cool).
During the Republican primary, Mr. Romney and Mr. Giuliani inveighed against cracks in the façade of English as our first language — until they alighted in Florida and ran Spanish-language commercials. Mr. Romney’s commercial featured his son speaking fluently, with a one sentence Spanish language coda from Mr. Romney.
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Hannity has managed once again to get a guest on his show to out-stupid him. His ability in this department is simply breathtaking.
Before getting to Romney, there is something that simply must be said about Hannity, inflammatory as it may be. I have my libel defense team lined up. Deep breath, here goes: It is a near certainty that at least some of Sean Hannity’s ancestors spoke Gaelic. Who knows–Hannity may acutally come from a long line of Gaelicers.
But I digress. Romney is clearly sucking up to McCain to overcome a potential deal breaker that has surfaced in VP vetting: Mitt Romney speaks another language. Worse, it’s French! Sacrebleu!! What’s next?! Please say it ain’t so, Mitt: WINDSURFING!!!
In assuring Hannity’s audience that under McCain, America will stay America, he demonstrates a couple of things that will re-assure much of the American electorate. First, while he might occasionally parlez, his English sucks as much as any real American. Second, he will give McCain sound advice on a very critical issue.
I have it on good authority that many McCain advisers are recommending a serious rebranding of our nation shortly after the election. Apparently, everything is on the table, including a name change. Graham, future Treasury Secretary, favors “”Whinerstan.” Lieberman, while voicing his satisfaction with the current name, is hard over on the tagline, “Is being independent so wrong?” And of course, Failed HP CEO Carly, an almost certain player in the next administration, proposes only a modest change: Fiorinamerica.
Good for you, Gov. Romney. Let’s make sure America stays America. A good start would be to make sure your private jet isn’t packing any Evian. But if Mike Huckabee has a picture of you eating snails, you’re toast. Praise Jesus and pass the freedom fries!
